When we were young
by ReyloForce
Summary: What if Ben and Rey met when they were young? This started as a oneshot but I decided to expand it. In this story, the age difference between Ben and Rey is only 3 years.
1. chapter 1

**AN: This is the same chapter from Reylo OneShots, if you've already read that one, go ahead and skip to the next chapter. If you're new then you can start here :) Enjoy!**

 _(Rey 9 Ben 12)_

Ben Solo was observing the little girl from behind the garden wall. He moved a dark lock of hair to the side so he could see better; he was fascinated by her. The agility of her body and how easily she had climbed that tree impressed him. When she reached the top branch, he saw her extend her hand towards a far away apple. It was strange, her hand was stretched out, her fingers spread apart and her brow furrowed in concentration. Ben didn't understand what she was trying to do.

But then he saw it, the apple, undoing itself from the branch and flying into her hand. The girl grinned, proud of herself, before taking a big bite out of the juicy apple. Ben couldn't hold it in anymore, he stepped out of the shadow of the wall and into the sun.

"What do you think you're doing?"he demanded angrily, as angrily as a 12 year old boy could.

Rey stopped dead in her tracks. How had she been caught, she was always so careful. But when she turned around and saw the voice belonged to a boy, she let out a breath of relief.

Jumping down from where she was, she landed square on her legs and took a few steps towards the boy. He looked to be a little bit older than her, with black, curly hair hanging over his eyes; he looked important, regal. She noticed something else, noticed his dark eyes and saw that he had been impressed by her abilities.

"Well?"he inquired again when she didn't reply. She just kept staring at him. "It's not polite to stare," he chastised her.

He saw one corner of her lip rise, then she took another bite of apple and circled him.

"Wh-what are you doing?" he asked,curious.

"Hm," she mused coming to a stop in front of him, "you look important." She had made that decision based on his clothes, and the way he addressed her. "Are you?"

"Of course I am." He felt offended by her question. "I am Ben Solo, my mother is the Princess, Leia...you thief." He didn't know why he'd added that, why he felt such a strong urge to humiliate her.

She only laughed at him. "Well I might be a thief, but if you are who you say you are, you are the son of a thief. The most famous scoundrel. Han Solo."

Ben felt a flush of anger rise to his cheeks. "Don't talk about my father like that!" He took a menacing step towards her.

"Or what?" she challenged him.

"Or I will have you killed," he threatened her, and he could tell that had worked when he saw her move a step backward.

"You wouldn't, would you?" she asked, fear obvious in her voice.

Ben knew he had two choices then: he could go on pretending he could harm her or he could be kind. At only 12, he was still young and the light was burning bright in him, so he chose right. "No," he said looking at the ground, "I wouldn't."

Rey felt herself smile as she extended her hand to him. "I'm Rey."

Without hesitating, Ben took her hand. "Nice to meet you, Rey."

 _(Rey 15 Ben 18)_

Ben sent an apple flying towards Rey by using the force. She hit the apple with her staff and sent it flying back; he dodged it just in time.

"You need to work on you reaction time," he said picking the apple off the ground and taking a big bite.

"And you need to work on throwing things by using the Force," she returned, sitting down and resting her back against a tree.

He came and sat beside her. He was so much taller now, his legs were long and his shoulders broad; he was taking too much space. Rey elbowed him in the ribs jokingly. "I never fit next to you anymore."

"You'll always fit next to me, Rey." He had said that casually, as he usually did, not making a big deal out of the fact that he had just told her she was precious, she was important, she was worthy to keep. Something her parents had never told her; they had never really said anything, they just abandoned her.

"So, you are leaving to train with Master Skywalker?"she asked, wanting to distract herself from the painful memory of her parents' abandonment.

Ben moved a piece of hair out of his face; it was longer now, and always in the way when she wanted to take a good look at his face.

"Yeah," he replied without looking at her.

"And?" she insisted.

"And?"he repeated, without looking at her still.

She moved in front of him, blocking the sun and staring right into his eyes. "Why aren't you excited about this?"she asked incredulously.

"Because," he said, toying with the rest of the apple and then tossing it away, "he will only train me in the ways of the Jedi."

"What other ways are there?" He could see confusion in Rey's sparkling brown eyes. For a moment, he looked at her and wondered how could anybody have abandoned how; how was _he_ going to be able to leave her and go to the temple.

"There is only one other way," he explained to her as she listened carefully. He loved teaching her, she was such a willing student, she cherished every word from his mouth. She waited in silence for him to continue, so he did: "The way of the Sith." He saw her face morph at the sound of that, saw the judgement in her eyes.

"But, but they are evil, Ben," she said as she moved back to her place against the tree. Yet her tone wasn't judgemental, only concerned.

"I know," he admitted, "but there are things we can learn from them."

"Like what?" She sounded judgemental now, and surprised.

"Like power, Rey! Being a Sith would give me so much power!"he said passionately, turning around to look at her.

"But it would take away your heart,"she whispered.

He huffed, getting up on his feet and turning away from her. "You don't understand, Rey! I have abilities! There are things that I can do, that nobody else can and Luke will never be able to appreciate that!"

"Ben?"she said tentatively as she got up too. "Who said that to you?"

Furious, he turned around and stared her down. "What, do you think I wouldn't be able to realise that on my own?"

She didn't back down from his stare. "No," she said, "but because that's not you. I know you and I know that somebody else put these ideas in your head."

He looked away, uncomfortable with how well she knew him, how well she could read him.

She saw a muscle clench in his jaw when she asked again: "Who is it?"

"His name is Snoke." He didn't know why he was telling her this. Maybe because he couldn't talk to his mother anymore, maybe because his father was never around, or maybe because she was his only real friend.

"What is he saying to you?"she inquired moving closer to him.

"He knows things about me," he said looking at her, "he sees

my abilities for what they are." She could see it, the arrogance flaring in his dark eyes. "I have so much power, Rey! There are so many things I could do."

It happened in seconds, so quickly she couldn't even pin point the exact moment the vision had started and ended. But she had seen it all; his future. Ben running away from his master, seeking solace with Snoke; she could see the dark clothes, the red lightsaber and a name, she had heard the whisper of a name...Kylo Ren.

When Rey looked back at him, with terror in her beautiful eyes, he knew he had made a mistake. He should have never told her, he couldn't trust her, he couldn't trust anybody. They didn't understand, he had a gift. Angered, he walked away from her.

Rey stood petrified, as the realisation hit her, she was going to lose Ben forever.

 **AN: Make sure to check out my other two Reylo fanfics: Reylo Oneshots and Episode9: Grey**


	2. Chapter 2

( _Follows on after Rey and Ben's argument)_

Ben and Leia ate their dinner in silence, as the clinking sound of their cutlery echoed in the vast room.

"Is Rey not joining us tonight?" Leia was the first one to break the silence between them.

"No," came Ben's curt answer.

Leia felt a heaviness settle in her chest. Ben seemed to be slipping away from her more and more everyday, and she didn't know what to do. She really hoped that her brother would be able to help him once they would start the Jedi training.

"How come?"she pushed.

Ben set the cutlery on either side of his plate and stared at his mother. "Well, perhaps she learned from father."

"Ben," Leia warned but he ignored her.

"Maybe she also had other "businesses" to attend to," he bit out.

"Enough!" Leia set her own cutlery down, and the sound echoed in the room. "I will not allow you to speak about your father this way," her voice was stern, but her eyes were glistening with tears; she could see her son hurting.

Ben felt a pang of guilt in his heart, he hated upsetting his mother but he couldn't help it, the anger he felt towards his father was constantly there, always ready to explode. But it wasn't his mother's fault. No, she was kind and good to him, she had been there for him whenever he had needed her.

Ben looked up from his plate and into his mother's eye, he opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a loud voice coming from the foyer.

"I need to speak to the General!" Poe's impatient voice carried through the corridor.A few moments later, he was in their dinning room at Leia's side.

"What is it, Poe?"she asked, already rising from her seat.

Ben watched his mother listen to the words of that pitiful pilot with such attention, that something broke inside of him. The guilt he had felt earlier was no more; now, only anger remained. In a swift, almost violent motion, he got up from his chair and exited the room but not before he could hear his mother call after him.

He chose to ignore her call.

A*A*A*

Climbing had always come easy to Rey, it was like her second nature. She had always had to dodge and hide and run from people, ever since she was young; and until she met Ben. After that, his family had taken her in, given her food and shelter, made her feel like she belonged. She had grown comfortable around them, had come to regard Ben's parents with love and almost saw them as her own parents. Mostly Han; she loved Leia, but Han was the one that had thought her about flying and ships, something Ben had never really been interested in. They had always had a difficult relationship, Ben and Han, and Rey could never really understand what Ben had against his father. But she listened to him nonetheless, she listened to him complain about Han, and she knew that's why Ben had come to trust her. And she valued that; she valued that above her relationship with Han. She valued that above most things.

Finally managing to climb over his balcony, Rey tapped lightly on Ben's window before taking a seat on the bench. Sat down, she looked up, there were so many starts out, the galaxy always looked so beautiful at night.

When Ben finally opened the door, a moment longer than he usually would have, Rey released the breath she hadn't realised she was holding. Ben took a seat besides her and handed her a blanket. But he didn't look at her. Silently, Rey took the blanket from him and wrapped it around herself.

He sighed and, instinctively, Rey grabbed his hand with her own. Ben looked at their intertwined hands resting against his leg and he realised her touch made him feel safe, less angry, even whole.

"About today," Rey started, her voice a little bit shaky. "I'm really sorry," she said looking at his face.

He didn't reply, only squeezed her hand in response. And she understood; sometimes, it was easier not to talk.

"I'm sorry I missed dinner," she said after a while.

"Oh, you didn't miss much," Ben said, his voice coming out tired.

She looked at him. "What happened?" She saw the muscles in his jaw clench, but he didn't say anything. "Ben?"she prodded.

"Mother and I had a fight," he finally admitted.

"About?"

He let out a bitter laugh. "What do you think?"he asked, finally looking at her.

"Is it your father, again?"she asked gently.

He looked away and sighed. "It's always him."

Ben didn't say anything after that and she didn't push him. She let him stare up at the sky and get lost amongst the stars as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm gonna miss you...when you go," she whispered against his shirt.

Ben untangled his hand from hers and then put his arm around her, bringing her closer to him. Kissing the top of her head, he whispered against her hair: "I'm gonna come back for you, Rey. That's a promise."

"Good," Rey whispered back as she buried her head deeper into his chest.

AN: aaaaand chapter two is out; this will probably be quite a short fanfic but thanks to all of you who are following along :) if you liked this, make sure to check out my other two fanfics Reylo OneShots and Episode9:Grey


	3. Part 3

**AN: thank you for all the follows and faves, I don't know why but I can't see the reviews atm but thank you for leaving a review anyways :) hope you guys enjoy this one as well ;)**

Ben let out a long sigh and watched the vapour of his breath disappear into the night. Leaning against the hard wall, he wished he could disappear as well. From inside, music and laughter could be heard, all of his friends-actually, his mother's friends- had come to celebrate his stepping into manhood, his leaving to the Jedi temple. His father wasn't there, as per usual.

Ben undid one of the buttons of his white, royal cape, then leaned his head against the wall, closing his eyes.

"Well, you look uncomfortable," Rey teased as she stepped out onto the balcony.

Ben exhaled. "This is stupid. Frivolous. A sham. None of these people are here for me, they're just complying with their duty to the princess," he said in an accusatory tone, opening his eyes and looking up at the sky.

"I'm here for you," Rey plainly replied.

He looked at her then and found that he was speechless for a few moments. Her usual garments were replaced by a stunning green dress, falling softly down her body. Rey felt herself blush under his dark gaze. He looked every inch the prince tonight, with his dark hair contrasting against his stark white robe; and somehow, she didn't feel good enough in that moment.

"You don't like it?"she asked, her voice small.

He stared at her dumbfounded and then shook his head. "No, I, ah," he was struggling to find the right words. His gaze drifted to the ground, unsure of what he wanted to say; but when he looked at her face again, he _knew_ what he wanted to say: "I think you look beautiful."

Her blush deepened and her eyes sparkled, and in that moment, Ben felt the need to add: "And not just tonight." He watched as the realisation of what he'd said hit her, how her eyes started gleaming with something, something he couldn't quite name.

"Here you are, son." Leia stepped out into the balcony as well; she was accompanied by Poe, as she was most days. "Well, the party can't go on without its host," she smiled at both him and Rey, but they both knew they were being told off.

"Well then maybe you should go back inside, mother," Ben said bitterly.

Rey carefully watched everybody's reaction: she saw the muscles in Poe's jaw clench at Ben's rudeness, saw Leia's eyes fill with pain, saw Ben clenching his fists. Before Ben could storm out, Rey decided to interfere. "Why don't you dance with me?"she asked Ben, ignoring both Leia and Poe for the time being. She could see that her question had taken him by surprise, but she saw his fists unclench, saw his body relax, and then he nodded. Taking his hand, Rey smiled at Leia. "If you'll excuses us?"she asked the princess.

"Of course," came Leia's reply.

"What was that?"she questioned him a while into their dance, after she felt he had calmed down a bit.

Ben only looked at her, his face expressionless, as they swayed to the music.

"She's your mother, Ben!"Rey pointed out, annoyed with his attitude.

"Maybe you should tell her that," he spat and her eyes immediately softened.

She didn't push him anymore, she understood that whatever was going on between him and Leia wasn't really her business.

"Where is Han?"she asked trying to change the subject. She realised that was the wrong thing to ask when she felt his body stiffen and his dark eyes drain of emotion. There had been anger in his eyes when she spoke about his mother, but now, there was pure rage; Ben hated his own father. As that realisation hit her, the vision she had had days ago, started forming again in her mind: Ben in a dark robe, with a red lightsaber and that name, Kylo Ren. Filled with dread, Rey tightened her hold on him.

"I don't know," he said and his voice broke a little. Then, to mask that, he added in a cold tone, "And I don't care."

Rey simply nodded, too afraid to do anything else, say anythibg else; anything that meant loosing him.

 _(Later that night)_

Leia was brushing her hair in front of the mirror, inspecting her own reflection. Her eyes fell on her dark circles, and the lines forming around her face, signs of the passage of time. She sighed, she wasn't fit for parties anymore.

Brushing the last strand of hair, she sat the brush on her vanity then made her way to the bed.

"Are you gonna stand in the doorway all night?"she asked as she pulled the sheets to the side.

From the shadows, the figure of a man emerged. "I wasn't sure you'd want me to come in," the man said.

"Then you should have asked, Han," she said getting in bed. "You're late." Leia turned on the lamp on her night stand so that she could see her husband's face.

Han looked old and tired, but most of all, he looked sorry. "I'm always late." He tried to smile but it didn't reach his eyes.

Leia sighed. "Your boy would have appreciated you being there," she gently chastised.

"Yeah," Han started as he made his way to her side of the bed and sat down, "I'm not so sure about that."

Leia shook her head. "That boy adores you," she said, taking his hand in his, "but he is hurt. He feels betrayed by his own mother and father. I'm afraid we failed him." There were tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.

Han squeezed her hand. "We did our best," he tried to reassure her.

"Then our best was not enough," she said, wiping tears from her cheeks. "I see the Force inside him, it's powerful and it's fuelled by his pain and rage and..."she trailed off, her voice too broken to continue.

"Luke will help him!" Han insisted.

"Luke is not his father," she accused and he let go of her hand.

He slowly moved to kiss her forehead and whisper goodnight, before he made his way to the door.

"Han," Leia called after him, "just be there tomorrow."


	4. Part 4

**AN: thank you to everybody who's joined in on this story and hope you like this new chapter ;)**

Rey's body was tense, her eyes narrowed and her hand outstretched towards a red apple on a high branch.

"We have to stop meeting like this," Ben chuckled behind her.

For a moment, Rey lost her concentration and her grip on the apple, which allowed Ben to snatch it from her with the Force.

"Must you always do that?"she asked, turning around.

Ben grinned at her before taking a bite of the apple. She just rolled her eyes at him, then turning around and lifting her leg, she punched the tree causing dozens of apples to fall to the ground. Picking one up, she wiped it against her clothes, then took a big bite.

Ben raised a dark eyebrow. "New skills?"

"Neah," she shrugged, "very old ones."

Ben didn't miss the way her eyes clouded with the shadows of her past, the memory of her abandonment. Throughout the years, he had always found himself wishing he could chase those shadows away, protect her from the thoughts in her head. Now that he was plagued by his own, he realised he didn't really know how to help her.

"I should get going," he said but he didn't move from where he was. Instead, he just looked at her, trying to memorise exactly what she looked like in that very moment.

Rey nodded and looked away. "You should."

Ben let out a small laugh. "Well, aren't you coming?"he asked.

She sighed. "Ben, you know I'm not good at goodbyes." She felt so vulnerable, admitting that to him; yet, she carried on. "Nobody's ever said goodbye to me, they just left." She looked into his eyes then, her own eyes glossing over. "And then they never came back."

Ben took a step towards her. "I am coming back, Rey!"he emphasised every word.

Rey found she couldn't look away from his intense stare. "Okay...good," she gave him a small smile.

"Besides," he carried on, moving closer to her, "it'll be just a few years and then you will join me." He gently pinned a soft strand of hair behind her ear and smiled at her.

She mirrored his smile. It was so easy to believe that everything would turn out okay when Ben looked at her like that. She'd realised,throughout the years they'd been friends, that being around Ben, somehow made everything bearable.

"You should go now," she whispered, not wanting to break the spell of the moment.

"I should," he grinned at her. "Goodbye, Rey." He tenderly touched her cheek for just a moment, before he turned to leave.

"Ben," she called after him when he was almost too far away to hear. Almost. He stopped in his tracks and turned around just in time to catch her in his arms.

Rey grabbed onto Ben's body with all she had, her hands wrapped tightly around his neck and her face buried in his chest. Ben enveloped her in his arms, bringing her even closer to him, and they stayed like that for a long time; long enough for their hearts to start beating in sync with each other.

When they pulled apart, slowly, resting their foreheads against each other, Ben whispered against her lips: "Rey." It was only her name, barely a syllable, but it was everything he needed to say and everything she needed to hear.

"Master Solo, we should go," came C-3PO's mechanical voice, from behind Ben.

"I'll be right there, 3PO," Ben said with a sigh. Pulling away from Rey, he held onto her hand for a little longer. "I'm coming back!"

 _(Later on-docking bay)_

Leia's eyes were swimming with tears as she watched Ben and Luke board the ship that would take them so far away from her; for some inexplicable reason, she felt like she was losing both of them. Standing besides her, C-3PO put a comforting and awkward mechanical hand on her shoulder; she appreciated the gesture nonetheless.

Luke was observing Ben's reaction to his mother, how his jaw tightened and his fists clenched at his side, how his eyes struggled not to shed the tears in them.

"If you don't go say goodbye now, my boy, you _will_ to regret it," Luke said to his nephew. Ben only gave him a side glance. "Ah, come on, stop being as stubborn as her and go," Luke argued, practically pushing him out of the ship.

Ben followed his uncle's guidance, even though in that moment he despised the man for attacking his pride, the face of his mother made him do the right thing.

Leia opened her arms wide, long before Ben reached, and smiled tenderly at him. When he leaned down so that he could embrace her, she locked her arms around him, unsure of whether she should let him go or not.

"I love you, Ben!"she whispered against his ear and felt his embrace tighten. "And your father," her voice came out shaky now, unsure, "he loves you too, even if he's not here."

Those were the wrong things to say, she realised when she felt her son go rigid in her arms. He let go of her quickly, then nodded his head and without giving her a second glance, he border the ship and they left. Desperate, Leia tried to find him though the Force, send him her love, her good thoughts, but he had already shut her out.

 **AN: If you enjoyed this, please make sure to check out my other two Reylo fanfics: Reylo Oneshots and Episode9:Grey :)**


	5. Part 5

**AN: Thank you for all the faves, follows and reviews! You guys are the best ;) hope you enjoy this one :)**

 _(One year later: Rey-16 Ben-19)_

Rey had always hated the dinning room. It was too big, too empty, too cold. She had always felt strange and out of place in there. It reminded her of everything her life _wasn't_. And it was ironic, because this room was always the one that reminded Ben of everything his life _was_.

Now, they were sat across the table from each other, not really making eye contact, not really talking. In fact, they hadn't talked at all; it was only Leia and Luke that were talking, something about Ben's training, but he didn't seem interested. Rey tried to catch his eye from across the table, but he never did more than glance her way. He was acting strange, and he had been acting like that ever since he'd come back.

He was different, Rey could tell, and not just physically. He had grown, it seemed, had been training more, his body had started looking more like a man's, more muscled, more defined. His face was changed as well, the youthfulness seemed to be gone from his features, now his face was more chiselled, more brooding. But it was something else as well, something in his eyes, something dark that hadn't been there before; or if it had, it hadn't been that powerful. Rey believed that it was that darkness that made his behaviour change as well. Ben had always been impulsive and stubborn and filled with an odd kind of anger; but now, he had turned cold, dismissive, and his anger seemed to have turned into rage. He had always kept to himself, had always kept everyone else at arm's length, but not her; _never her._ He had been back for a week and he hadn't even looked for her or talked to her, and he was leaving tomorrow.

Rey could feel annoyance bubbling up inside her and she glared at him from across the table. For a moment, he caught her eye but then he looked away, as if he was upset by her presence there.

"I would like to be excused," Ben said as he got up, but it clearly wasn't a request.

Leia had clearly been taken by surprise so she just nodded; Luke didn't seem phased,he'd either seen this before or he refused to acknowledge it. Ben bid them all goodnight and left.

Rey was shocked and confused. He hadn't even said a thing to her, hadn't even acknowledged her presence and then he just left. No, she was not shocked, she was irritated. She got up swiftly, knocking some glasses over in the process, which made Luke glare at her, then, excusing herself, she followed after her friend.

Rey had put together a plan in her mind, she would knock softly on the door of his room, say something along the lines of "it's me", and wait calmly for him to open the door. What actually happened was: she marched to the door, started pounding her fists against it, and when he didn't open, she just barged in.

She was stopped in her tracks, his room looked so different from the last time she'd seen it, so much more...empty. There was only the bed in the corner, a desk and a wardrobe. Nothing from what had been there before, his collection of spaceships, his childhood toys, his memories... _their memories._

"What do you want, Rey?"he asked in a neutral tone, not annoyed, not angry, just not interested. He had his back turned to her, clearing something off his desk, so she couldn't see his face.

"What is going on, Ben?Wha-what is all this?"she asked confusion and hurt clear in her voice.

He sighed, and she could she his shoulders hunch. "I'm just letting go of some things." He sounded tired.

She let out a bitter laugh. "This is not some things, Ben. This is everything!"

Stopping what he was doing,he turned around to look at her, his eyes cold, unforgiving. "Don't be so dramatic, Rey!"

She was taken aback by his comment. "What the hell, Ben?"

Ben closed his eyes and let out another sigh, as if he was exhausted, as if having this conversation with her was tiring him out. When he opened his eyes again, he seemed done with her. "Maybe you should just leave, Rey?"

"What?" Rey tried to stop the tears from forming into the corners of her eyes, but she couldn't. Annoyed with her weakness, annoyed with him, she said, "Fine," then turned on her heels to leave. But on her way to the door she remembered something, she remembered how much she had missed Ben and how excited she had been to see him, remembered who Ben was before he left, and most importantly, she remembered his dad hadn't been there to welcome him home. Ben was just hurt, that was it, he wasn't changed, he wasn't awful now; he was just in pain. With compassion in her eyes, Rey turned around to look at him, and saw something she hadn't seen before: a scar, a small one, next to his eye. She moved closer to him and Ben looked at her. Moving closer still, until they were only a few inches apart, Rey asked: "What happened to you?"

Ben was both surprised and frightened by her question, by all the implications of her question. _Why was she asking him that? What had she seen? How could she have known? Was she able to penetrate his thoughts as Snoke had?_ All of a sudden, Ben realised it had become harder to breath, and when she reached out her hand to touch his face, he caught it with his own. "Don't," he warned. He saw hurt cross her eyes, saw the trembling of her lips and realised he didn't recognised the brave and fiery Rey in the girl in front of him. But his other realisation, the fact that _he_ had caused this, was the one that angered him, the one that made him hate himself. He let go of her hand and turned around, not wanting to look at her anymore; not wanting her to see him like this anymore.

"Ben," she whispered, gently touching his shoulder. "Ben, I understand," she sniffled, "I understand that you're angry and upset, I understand how you are feeling-"

Those words made the blood boil in his veins and he quickly turned around, making her stumble backwards. "You understand?" The words had come out through clenched teeth. "You understand?" He let out a sardonic laugh. "How could you understand, Rey? Hm?"he demanded, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her a bit. "How could you know?"

Rey was scared by his outburst, but she refused to let that show on her face. More determined than before, she pleaded: "Then help me understand!"

Abruptly, as if shocked by his own actions, Ben let go of her shoulders and stumbled backwards. "You need to go!"

"No..."she started.

"Yes, Rey," he raised his voice, "you need to leave. Now!"

"No. No!"she argued back.

Frustrated, he ran his hands though his hair. "Why can't you never do what you're asked?"

Infuriated, she took a few steps toward him and jabbed him in the chest. "And why can't you just talk to me?"she demanded. "Hm, why can't you just tell me what's going on?" She had started slapping his chest now. "Why? Why have you ignored me this past week? Why haven't you come to see me? Haven't you missed me?" Her hands had started an attack on his chest, punching and slapping and grabbing his shirt, as tears started falling down her cheeks. "Why are you like this? Why aren't you happy to see me?" She was punching his chest harder and harder.

"Stop, Rey. Stop," he rushed her, grabbing her hands with his own, halting their assault. "Stop," he whispered this time.

Rey looked up at him then, her breath laboured, her cheeks wet. He had leaned in, so close to her face, close enough that she could feel his hot breath on her cheek. She searched his eyes, trying to find a glimpse of the Ben he was; but his eyes had dropped to her lips, studying every square inch of the pinky flesh. Looking back into her eyes, Ben found the approval that he needed and he crushed his lips against hers.

 **AN: If you enjoyed this, please make sure to check out my other two Reylo fanfics: Reylo Oneshots and Episode9:Grey :)**


	6. Part 6

They stayed like that, lips locked, for a long moment, as if trying to assimilate the other into their own being. There were so many things passing on between them: regrets, apologies, confession; all of them passing the lips of one and landing onto the lips of the other. But there was something else forming between them, a connection which seemed stronger than the physical one, something like electricity pulsating between them. They had both felt it, felt its vibrations inside of themselves, as if a cord was stretching out from him to her. But the cord must have been weak because in the next moment it snapped, and the energy between them vanished. They pulled apart and away from each other.

Rey had questions, so many questions, but she didn't know how to voice them; instead she looked into Ben's eyes. There was nothing there from the coldness and cruelty she'd seen before, there was only curiosity and awe. A grin broke across his face and it reminded her of when he was younger.

"Wha-what was that?"she asked wide-eyed.

"I don't know," he shook his head, "but I think it was the Force," his grin widened and his dark eyes were sparkling.

"The Force? How can that be?" Rey inquired.

Ben shrugged. "The Force can do anything, really."

"But how did _we_ do that...activate it?"

The corner of his mouth lifted in a cheeky smile. "Probably when we kissed."

She blushed at his bluntness. "When you kissed me," she said, but her voice had grown quieter.

"Well, I believe you kissed me back," he teased.

She looked up at him, hurt evident in her eyes. "Don't, Ben," she warned and pleaded at the same time, "don't turn this into something silly."

Surprised by her question, he closed the distance between them and grabbing her face in his hands, he forced her to look at him again. "Rey," he whispered her name, "I would never do such a thing. I'm sorry." He watched her frown turn into a smile and felt a smile creep onto his face too.

"Why did you?"she asked but he didn't seem to understand her question. "Kiss me," she explained, "why did you?"

She had expected him to let go or avoid her question, but he didn't. Instead, he looked her square in the eyes and said: "Because I wanted too, Rey." He moved a piece of hair behind her ear. "For the longest of time, I wanted to," he confessed and she felt herself blush again. Ben swallowed hard before he asked: "Have you?" He looked nervous now, searching her eyes for an answer.

"I..." Rey hesitated and she watched his features morph in front of her eyes, into hurt than anger,at what he interpreted as her rejection.

"I see," he said, letting go of her and moving away.

"No, Ben!" She panicked, he was getting it all wrong. "It's not that I didn't want it," she tried to explain, "it's just that I though I shouldn't." She saw confusion cross his features. "You're a prince Ben," she scoffed, "and I come from nothing. My parents, they abandoned me. I have nothing. I _am_ nothing."

"Not to me!"came his almost immediate reply as he shook his head.

"I know," she smiled between the tears on her face.

He crossed the space between them and pulled her to his chest. "Not to me," he kept whispering and kissing the top of her head.

Rey felt safe. She had missed his scent and his arms around her. They were stronger now and he had grown taller, the top of her head only reaching his chin.

They stayed like that for a long while, until Ben broke the silence. "I'm leaving tomorrow," he whispered against her hair.

"I know," she said, squeezing her eyes shut and burring her face deeper into his chest.

"Then stay with me...tonight," he hesitantly offered.

Anxious, Rey raised her head to look at him. "Ben..."she started.

He shook his head. "I won't ask anything from you that you are not willing to give, Rey," he said, caressing her face. "I just want you to stay with me tonight."

She nodded her head.

 **AN: If you enjoyed this, please make sure to check out my other two Reylo fanfics: Reylo Oneshots and Episode9:Grey :)**


	7. Part 7

Rey watched the constant rise and fall of Ben's chest. He looked so calm and peaceful, something she had not seen in a long time. Tentatively, she reached out her hand to touch the scar on his forehead and he stirred in his sleep. When his breathing evened out again, she caressed the scarred tissue, just the faintest touch on his skin. Rey felt heat radiating at the touch of their skin and she marvelled at the happiness she felt in that moment, at how happy she had felt the entire evening.

After holding her in his arms, Ben had told her about his training, about the few friends he had made at the Jedi temple. He had told her funny stories about Luke and showed her a few tricks he had learned. When Rey had asked if he felt like he was fulfilling his purpose there though, he had quickly changed the subject; so she didn't ask again. She had just let him speak, tell her want he wanted to and keep to himself all the other thoughts.Rey's fingers wandered to his cheek, following the line of his dimple.

"Hmmm, it tickles," came Ben's groggy voice. Even though his eyes were closed, he smiled at her.

Rey smiled and pushed closer to him. "How did you get your scar?"she whispered.

Ben frowned, his eyes still closed. "I pushed myself too much, reached further than I should have," his voice wasn't sleepy anymore, but it did sound tired.

"That sounds like something master Luke would say," she said.

Ben opened his eyes to look at her then turned on his back, which caused her to retract her hand. Resting his hands behind his head, Ben said: "We were learning how to stop oncoming attacks with the Force. I would always let it come as close as I could before I would stop, I wanted to push myself." He sighed. "Luke didn't like that, but I kept doing it. One day, well, it turned out he was right. I didn't manage to stop and attack on time and I was rendered unconscious for two days and was left with this."

"Thank you for telling me," she said, studying the side of his face and knowing it had been hard for him to share.

Ben looked at her and smiled. Then, he brough his arm around her, bringing her body closer to his, her head now resting on his chest. "I don't want to go back, Rey," he confessed into the darkness.

Rey looked up at him. "But you have to, you must complete your training."

"What if I don't?"he asked. "What if you and I just run away somewhere?" His eyes searched hers, but she had no answer for him.

Rey laid her head back against his chest and didn't say anything for a while. Mindlessly, she had started drawing patterns with her fingers over his shirt. Unconsciously, but in sync, Ben had started drawing the same patters on her back with his fingers.

"We still have some time until sunrise," Rey started, "so let's pretend we're far away, that we are different people. But when the sun does rise," she said looking up at him again, "promise me, you will go where you are meant to."Ben nodded and she laid her head back against his chest, tuning in to the rhythm of his heartbeat.

"Rey," he asked after a while, "if it was just you and me, and I would be just Ben and you would be just Rey and this life would've been simpler, would you spend your life with me?"

"Yes," she responded in a heartbeat, and as soon as she did, she felt the tender touch of his lips against her forehead.

And they stayed like that for what felt both like mere minutes and an eternity. Time seemed to have both slowed and move too quickly for them to really grasp what had transpired between them. When the sun did rise, Ben asked Rey to stand still as he traced the path of the light on her face.

And in the daylight, he left with Luke.

Yet, somehow, Rey knew that his path to the dark side had started.

 **AN: A fast update! Hope you guys enjoyed the Reylo fluff and are intrigued by what is coming next:) and if** **you enjoyed this, please make sure to check out my other two Reylo fanfics: Reylo Oneshots and Episode9:Grey xxx**


	8. Part 8

**AN: This chapter is a little bit different-I just wanted to present snippets of conversations to show people's reaction to Ben's fall to the dark side :) hope you like it xx**

 _(One year later- Rey:17 Ben 20)_

"No!" Rey exclaimed as she got up from the table. "Ben wouldn't!" She shook her head.

"I know it's hard to accept, Rey..." Leia started.

"Then why are you accepting it?"she asked, her question sounding more like an accusation.

"Because there is nothing she can do," Master Luke spoke, his face covered by the hood.

"There must be a way we can help him!"she insisted.

"It's too late," Luke raised his voice, which shocked both women. "Snoke has already corrupted him," he added after a while, his voice breaking now.

"I refuse to accept that," Rey said and stormed out.

 ** _A*A*A_**

"Where is Han?" Luke asked his sister.

Leia shrugged. "Somewhere in the galaxy, doing some business," hurt was evident in her voice and her beautiful eyes.

Luke put a hand over his sister's and squeezed it gently. "I'm sure he'll come home soon," he tried to comfort her.

Leia gave him a sad smile, "I'm not sure either of them will come home, Luke," she said and the tears that had gathered in her eyes, finally spilled over.

 ** _A*A*A_**

"Leia?" Han asked tentatively as he approached his wife. She was stood on the balcony of their son's bedroom, with her back turned to him.

"Snoke took our boy," was the only thing she said, her voice and heart breaking all over again. She didn't turn around to look at him, she was looking at the sky, trying to find hope in the night.

Han came close and rested his hand on hers. Looking up as well, he said: "I know, Luke told me," he sounded tired.

Leia shook her head with regret. "Maybe if we wouldn't have sent him away..."

"There was nothing we could have done," Han interrupted, "there's always been too much Vader in him."

Shocked, Leia looked into his eyes. "No," she said, her eyes filling with tears.

Han wiped a tear that escaped down her cheek then cupped her face with his hands. "I'm sorry, my love," he said and she could see it then, all the hurt that he tried to hide and just how much this was tearing him apart.

Leaning in to his touch, Leia pulled closer to her husband until they stood embraced in the cold night, both wishing, _hoping_ , that their lost boy would return.

 ** _A*A*A_**

Ever since she had found out about Ben, Rey had focused on devising a plan to get him home. That was it, that was all that mattered.

It didn't matter that at night, she couldn't sleep just thinking about him with that monster. It didn't matter that Luke's story about how Ben had killed his fellow Jedi and destroyed the temple hit her like a tone of bricks,making it harder to breathe. It didn't matter that she felt an ache in her heart just thinking about what he must have gone through, all by himself. It didn't matter that it hurt so badly that he hadn't trusted her with his problems, that he never spoke to her about it. It didn't matter that the fact that he had abandoned her, something he promised he would never do, had torn her apart.

No, none of that mattered

because she had a plan; but for that plan, she needed Luke.

 ** _A*A*A_**

"Luke's not here, kid," Han said over his shoulder then returned his attention to the broken pipe.

"Well, where is he?" Rey questioned.

"I don't know," he said not looking up at her . "Chewie, hand me that thing!"

Chewie growled but handed Han the tool he needed.

"I don't understand," Rey pushed, "where could he have gone and why?"

Han stopped what he was doing and looked up at her. He let out a heavy sigh before he said: "Look, kid, after everything happened with Ben, Luke felt too guilty. I guess this is how he's dealing with it."

"By hiding?" Rey asked outraged.

"No, not hiding," Han almost scolded her, "he went on a quest to find the first Jedi temple. I guess he believes that might be able to help."

Rey didn't seem entirely satisfied with his answer. "What do you think?"

"I think I don't know enough about the Force to know if that is a good idea or not," Han simply said. "Now go, I have work to do," he rushed her.

"Do you even care about him?" Rey's angry tone surprised even her and it made Han drop his tool and look her dead in the eye.

"He is my boy," he emphasised, "of course I care, Rey. But there is so much I can do." Han seemed frustrated with his own limitation that had been brought along by old age.

"You could go after him," Rey suggested, her voice kinder now.

Han gave her a half smile, "Why do you think I'm spending so long fixing the Falcon?"

Rey smiled. "We can bring him home," she said, full of hope, "I know we can!"

"I hope you're right, kid!"

 **AN: Just a short update but here it is :)**


	9. Part 9

**AN: Guys, thank you so much for the reviews! I really appreciate them and I love reading them! Hope you like this one too xxx**

 _(One year later-Rey:18, Ben:21)_

It was time. She'd prepared long enough, for any problem that could come up, she had a solution. It had taken her a year, but she was ready.

R2 had given her the map, Han was giving her the Falcon, she would fly to Ahch-To, find Luke, ask him to train her and then together, they would bring Ben home. It had only taken her a year...

A year, it had been a year since he had joined Snoke, a year since they last heard of him, _from_ him. Rey tried the ignore her pain and focused on packing. It wasn't important how she felt, she wasn't the one they needed to focus on; all they needed to do was bring him back.

"Rey?"

Her heart stopped for a second. _Could it really be his voice? In her room? But how?_ Rey stood petrified, her back turned towards the area his voice came from.

From the shadows behind her, a dark, tall figure appeared. He was dressed in a dark tunic, a black scarf hanging around his neck and a black hood was obscuring his face.

"Rey," he said again, softly, with a gentleness he had forgotten he possessed.

Slowly, very slowly, painfully slowly, she turned around to face him. Her eyes instantly filled with tears at the sight of him. He looked so much older, so much colder...so much darker.

But he was home.

Rey couldn't stop herself. In a moment, she closed the space between them and pulled him in a hug.Ben was taken by surprise and he stood, immobile for a second. But then his body remembered the comfort of her warmth and his hands made their way around her as if they had a mind of their own.

Burying his head in her shoulder, he inhaled her scent. "Rey," he whispered against her skin.

"I'm so glad you're home, Ben!" Rey said and he immediately pushed her away. Rey looked at him confused.

"That's not my name anymore," he said in a cold tone.

"What?"

"I changed it. It's now Kylo Ren," he informed her.

Rey's face changed as realisation hit her. "You've not come home, have you?"

"No," he replied, his face betraying no emotion. "I'm here for you, Rey."

"For me?"she asked confused.

He nodded. "You are strong with the Force, Rey. We could use that," he explained as if this made sense, as if any of this was rational.

"We?"she asked, her voice breaking a little.

Ben's gaze turned dark. "Me and Supreme Leader Snoke."

Rey closed her eyes, wishing she could close her heart in the same why, in a way that would make this less real, less true.

"He can teach you about your abilities," Ben persuaded passionately.

Rey let out a tired breath. "I have a teacher already."

"Who? My uncle?"he mocked. "He can teach you nothing. He is afraid of power," Ben spat out angrily.

"Well look what power did to you." Her tone hadn't been aggressive or accusing, but broken and filled with pain; yet, he took it as an attack.

"I am better now," he argued, "Ben was weak-"

"Ben was my friend!"she shot back. "You," she said, pointing a finger at him, "I don't know who you are, but you're not him."

Ben looked away from her. Her words had managed to cut through all the defences he had put up. This wasn't supposed to go like this, she was supposed to join him. Taking a deep breath, her looked into her eyes again.

"I don't have much time, Rey. I am here to make you an offer."

Rey sniffled, she wanted to protest, but she remained quiet, wanting to her his offer.

"Come with me," he carried on. "Let's leave tonight." He took a few steps towards her. "We've always wanted to leave. Let's just do it."

Rey shook her head. "Not like this. Your family, our lives here..."

"No,no!"he raised his voice, "You're still holding on to that. LET GO!"

Scared, Rey took a step backwards, away from him.

He calmed himself, breathing through his mouth. "Just let go and come with me," his voice was calmer now, softer, more like a plea.

Rey searched his eyes. She found nothing in there she recognised; nothing except pain, he was in pain. Agony. And somehow, it felt like she could fix it, if only she said yes.

"Please," he whispered and extended his hand to her. "Please, join me."

Rey's eyes flooded with tears because she already knew the answer to his question. The only answer she could give him."I'm sorry...Ben," she added his name hesitantly.

Ben squeezed his eyes shut, just for a moment, and when he opened them, there was no more Ben. Kylo Ren clenched his fists and gave Rey the coldest look he could muster. It sent a chill down her spine.

"Very well," he said and left.

 **AN: I feel like this chapter was a bit more fragmented but I wanted to show that their relationship is the same :) but anyways, hope you liked it and if you did, please make sure to check out my other Reylo fanfics: Reylo Oneshots and Episode9:Grey xx**


	10. Part 10

_(Months later)_

Rey had made it to Ahch-To but it had taken her longer than she would have thought to convince Luke to train her. Eventually, he had relented, training her every day for 6 months now. She knew so much more and still less, less than what _he_ knew. He had always been so much more gifted then her, or at least, that's what she'd always believed. Luke had told her they had matching abilities but that Ben had had more training, as a Jedi and, Luke assumed, now as a Sith too.

"Rey?" Luke knocked on the door of her hut, breaking her out of her thoughts.

"Yes, come in,Master Luke," she called out.

The old man made his way in awkwardly, and sat in front of her, next to the fire. "I have something for you, Rey," he said, his voice soft yet serious. "I think it's time for you to have this." He reached inside his tunic and retrieved the lightsaber, then extended it to her.

Rey's eyes shone with tears, of both sorrow and honour. "But this was supposed to be his," she said.

Luke looked down. "Yes, well, things didn't go as planned. Would you accept this?"he asked, searching her eyes.

Rey nodded and extended her hands. As soon as the weapon touched her skin, Rey was transported to a different time and place.

 _A fire and a temple in ruins. Luke holding on to R2-D2. Leia and Han arguing with Ben. A young Ben running away. An old Ben, furious and using his power for distruction. Ben dressed in black surrounded by six other people dressed exactly like him. The echo of a name, Kylo Ren. A dark throne room, Snoke, a mask, a red lightsaber, an elevator. Ben turning to the light. Rain. Blood._

Rey opened her eyes gasping for air. In her tumult, she had dropped the lightsaber on the floor, but Luke hadn't retrieved it, he was only starring curiously at her.

"What did you see?"he asked.

"I don't know," she answered confused. "The past, the future. Blood and sacrifice. Redemption maybe," she said trying to make sense of it herself.

"You saw him?"

Rey nodded. "I think Ben will turn back to the Light," she said passionately.

"Hmmm," Luke mussed, "we shall see."

"You don't believe it, do you?"she questioned him, indignant.

"I'll let you get some rest now," was all Luke said before leaving her hut.

That night, Rey's dreams were plagued by all the things she had seen in her vision. But, she woke up knowing that Ben still had a chance.


	11. Part 11

It was a typical scene, Han Solo sat at the table in Takodana with his trusted buddy, Chewbacca, by his side. What was different were the lines of old age that were now evident on his face and the lack of spark in his eyes. There'd only been one thing in his eyes lately, and that was regret. But not today! No, today, he was filled with hope because Rey was supposed to meet him in the old dusty bar. She'd sent him a message through Chewie, she'd had visions, maybe dreams, that Ben would come back, that they would be able to save him; so he had come to meet her. In fact, he had rushed to meet her and knew he would probably agree to the craziest of plans if only he could see his son again.

Han Solo knew he hadn't been a good father, just like his father before him. There was something missing in him, that quality, that assurance in his heart that he would be able to help his son rather than destroy him. Han had never really gotten attached to things when he was young, he always seemed to be separated from the things he loved, by cruelty or chance, he didn't know. But he had decided, long before they'd had Ben, long before he'd fallen in love with Leia, to not get attached to things, to always be on the move, to leave behind before he could get left behind. It was a coping mechanism, it was his response to fear. And it made him afraid, having to be a father had made him so afraid, that the only solution he'd found was to leave again. And now he feared he had passed that on to his boy as well.

Across the room, Han could see Rey make her way through the crowded bar. He was glad to see her but his heart had sunken in his chest. _Had he made his boy leave her?_

Before Rey had reached their table, Chewie had already made his way to her, enveloping her in a tight hug. The wookie let out a cry.

"I've missed you too, big guy," she replied smiling. "Yes, you are still my favourite wookie," she laughed at his growl.

When Chewie had released her, Han got up to welcome her but stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Rey, however, had already crossed the distance between them and put her arms around the old man.

Han let out a heavy sigh. "You good, kiddo?"

Rey nodded against his chest. Then pulling away, she looked into his eyes. "Thank you for agreeing to this, Han."

The man nodded and then they both took a seat at the table.

A*A*A*

"What's going on, Maz?" Rey asked as she took cover next to her.

"It's the First Order," Maz said looking at her with gigantic, compassionate eyes as the realisation sunk in.

Ben was doing this. _He_ was attacking them.

"Here," Maz said, handing her a blaster. "You pull that and then fire away."

After Maz had left her side, Rey sunk to the ground, her back plastered against the half collapsed wall. Her heart had started beating louder, she could hear it in her ears, drowning out the sound of the chaos around her. She had had a plan, she would take the Falcon, fly to Ben and get him to come home. She wasn't ready to meet him now. She was unsure of what she would say, unsure she could defeat him in combat if it came to that.

Rey's thoughts were violently interrupted by the sound of a blaster shot near her head. She hurried to her feet and fired at the stormtroopers once, before making her way into the woods. She was trying to remain hidden behind trees as she was slowly making her way deeper into the forest. Then, she heard it, the low hum of a lightsaber being turned on. She saw a speck of glowing red colour in between leaves; she hurried away from it.

The person was moving closer and closer, the sound of the lightsaber was now accompanied by the sound of determined footsteps. Rey stayed hidden behind a tree, her heart almost exploding with fear. Another step and then another and then another, closer and closer until they stopped altogether. Very slowly and as quietly as she could, Rey turned of the safety on the blaster. She let out a shaky breath than came out from behind the tree, aiming the blaster at the intruder. She was frozen in place, the hand holding the blaster forced to her side by sheer power. A gloved hand was stretching out towards her, using the Force to control her movements. The hand belonged to a tall, dark figure whose face was hidden by a black, terrifying mask.The last thing Rey remembered was the hand stretching towards her forehead as her mind fell into unconsciousness.

Ben Solo, now Kylo Ren, had picked up Rey's unconscious form, carrying her bridal style towards his ship. From the distance, Han watched his son carry Rey in his arms as carefully and tenderly as he always would have, and _knew_ Ben would be saved. But they had to make some adjustments to their plan.

 **AN: Here it is :) some Ben and Rey action coming up in the next chapter :D make sure to check out Reylo Oneshots and Episode9: Grey for updates as well xxx**


	12. Part 12

**AN: Thank you guys so much for the latest reviews and faves and follows! You are the best and I hope you like this one too xxx**

Rey lay unconscious on a polished black sofa, on which she'd been carefully laid on, unaware that Ben/Kylo Ren was watching her. It wasn't something he should have done, taking her prisoner or bringing her to his room; it probably wasn't something the Supreme Leader would approve of either. But he could convince him otherwise, convince him that they needed Rey on their side, that she was a good ally. While going through the reasons of why he'd brought her here, it seemed that Kylo was also trying to convince himself that it wasn't just because he'd let Ben's emotions get in the way. But it had been suffocating, the pain he'd felt when she pointed the blaster at him; he didn't want to fight Rey, he wanted her by his side. At least both Kylo and Ben agreed on that.

Rey stirred in her sleep, she was coming back into consciousness. Her mind was foggy and her thoughts a mess, but she could remember things, and the last thing she remembered was a mask. Rey opened her eyes and saw the same mask just a few feet away from her. Instinctively, she pushed back into the sofa, as far away from the dark figure as she could.Ben felt a pang of guilt in his heart; Kylo ignored it. He studied her in silence.

"Where am I?" Rey demanded, although she felt more afraid then she'd ever had.

"You're my guest," came the mechanical voice.

And then it hit her, the familiarity of the mask, like she'd seen it somewhere before, in her visions. But she couldn't be sure; she decided to buy herself some time.

"Where are the others?"she asked, wondering about the fate of Han, Chewie and Maz.

"You'll be relieved to hear that I don't know, nor care," he replied, his voice sounding cold and distance even through the mask. "For the time being," he added in a threatening way.

She recognised that voice. No, not the voice, but the sad quality it had to it, the simmering anger, ready to spill at any moment. She recognised that in his voice, but _his_ real voice was gone. Rey studied her surroundings for a moment.

"You can't escape," he said abruptly.

Her gaze returned to him and she let out a humourless laugh. "You were always so fond of telling me what I cannot do, Ben," she had said his name in a forceful way, almost accusing.

He was taken aback by her statement. He thought she might recognise him, but not so early on, not so easily. He straightened his back. "You knew it was me and yet you wanted to kill me." It was his time for accusations, although he refused to acknowledge how much that thought actually hurt.

Rey clenched her teeth. "That's what happens when you're being haunted by a creature in a mask!" Her voice was louder than before, her determination stronger.

Kylo Ren places his hands on either side of his face, pushing the hidden buttons with his thumbs. The mask let out a long hiss, before opening at the mouth and then he pulled it off his face. He didn't know if he'd done that to calm her or unsettle her further. He placed the mask on a bed of ash.

Her eyes immediately softened. She'd missed him so much. She'd missed his eyes, those dark,black pools, where light and dark seemed to be in a constant battle. Involuntarily, she leaned in. "Ben," she whispered softly.

"I need to know where Luke is," he cut her off, his voice still cold, still mechanic, even without the mask.

Rey pulled away again. "Why do you think I would tell you?" Her eyes fiery and defiant.

Kylo Ren smirked, with only a corner of his mouth, and for a moment, he looked so much like the old Ben that she forgot he wasn't. For a moment only, because then, he came closer, and towering over her, he leaned in and whispered, "You know I can take whatever I want." His voice was low and threatening, passionate.

Rey matched his stare. "You can try," she challenged, trying to ignore the feeling of his hot breath on her cheek.

He studied her eyes for a moment, just as fierce and as passionate as he remembered. And, in that moment, there was something else he wanted to remember, so he crushed his lips against hers.

She hesitated for a moment, both surprised and annoyed by his actions, but then his hands had cupped her face, bringing her closer then she thought it would be possible. The same feeling of their first kiss rang true this time as well, she could recognise the apologies, the regrets, the words she knew he would never say. But there was something else this time around, there was a violent need in him, a longing, a suffering perhaps, one that had made his lips move more harshly against hers. That frightened her, because she didn't recognise her friend in that and new that must be Kylo, and she wondered if she wanted to kiss _him_. But then something happened, Rey felt something in the Force around her, a reassurance, something telling her this was right.

When he pulled away, Rey searched his face, his eyes for the old Ben, and for a moment, he was there; as he lifted his hand to caress her cheek, Rey could swear she was back to being sixteen, when the two of them were in his room and believed nothing in the galaxy could keep them apart. But then his eyes turned darker than before, and something morepowerful than a galaxy was keeping them apart.

"I need to know where Luke is," he whispered against her lips, but his voice lacked care or gentleness; it was a demand.

Rey pulled away from him, and finally feeling steady on her feet, she got up from the sofa. "You're trying to manipulate me," she accused as tears threatened to spill out of her eyes.

A muscle in his jaw flexed when he saw the tears gathering in her eyes. He looked away. "There is something you have that I need. You can comply or I can take it by force," he stated matter of factly.

A single tear escaped down her cheek and he had to clench his fist in order to suppress the need to wipe it. But Rey did wipe it away, violently, aggressively, and suppressed all the others. "Then I guess you'll have to use force," she replied.

He let out a deep sigh. "It doesn't have to be like this, Rey," he tried to level with her but was already prying in her mind with the Force as his gloved hand stretched out towards her.

"You made it this way," she retorted. "Now get out of my head," she demanded confidently but she could feel him making his way into her mind. She had put up all the barriers she had, had used all her force and training to keep him out, but he was too strong to be kept away. Finally, when she realised she couldn't keep him at bay, another idea popped into her head: she would let him roam freely through her thoughts while she did some exploring of her own.

"You," she said, her voice strained from the effort, "you're afraid. Afraid that you'll never be as strong as Darth Vader. Afraid that you'll never be able to return home." Her voice had softened by the end of that sentence.

He quickly removed his hand and blocked her out of his thoughts. His breath was ragged and loud, he looked as exhausted as she felt.

"Oh, Ben," she said, her voice dripping with sorrow.

He clenched both his jaw and fists. "I don't need your pity," he spat out, moving past her and toward the door. "And my name," he said, stopping just before opening the door, "is Kylo Ren," and with that he was gone.

Rey heard him bark some instructions about her to the two stormtroopers outside the door but all noise was drowned out by a loud cry, and it took her a moment to realise it had been her own.

 **AN: okay, so this turned out more dramatic than I thought it was going to be but I still like it :D if you did as well, please let me know and also make sure to check out my other two Reylo fanfics: Reylo Oneshots and Episode9: Grey**


	13. Part 13

**AN: Thank you guys for following this story! I really really appreciate all your reviews :D Here's a quick update because you guys are awesome xxx**

Rey was debating the best way to escape. In fact, if she were honest with herself, she was debating whether to leave at all. She wondered if staying meant she would help Ben, but the reality of the situation was that she couldn't really trust him; not right now. She didn't want to stop and think about that because she was afraid of what it would do to her heart. Instead, she decided to leave through the front doors.

Bracing herself, she pushed the button that would open the door. Once it slid open, both stormtroopers pointed their blasters at her. Well, she'd figured out as much.

"You will let me go and will say nothing to your master about this," she said, trying to make her voice as steady and strong as possible. And it worked, the stormtroopers moved out of her way and let her go. She moved silently through the corridors, trying to find her way to the hangar bay.

 _(Later on)_

Kylo Ren clenched his fists making the leather of his gloves crack under the pressure. He stood in the middle of a very empty bedroom. He knew she could escape, he just thought she wouldn't. He cursed himself for that. Rey had probably spent so much time with his mother and uncle, they had probably brainwashed her and turned her against the dark side; against him.

He tried to calm himself: slow inhale, long exhale. It didn't work, his breath was still coming out ragged. He gripped the handle of the lightsaber, desperately in need of releasing his emotions.

 _"Your feelings for this girl are blinding you!"_ The words of the Supreme Leader echoed in his mind. His grip on the lightsaber tightened.

"Master Ren," a stormtrooper addressed him, interrupting his thoughts.

"What?" Kylo Ren retorted annoyed.

The stormtrooper backed away slightly. "Han Solo," he cleared his voice, "Han Solo is on the base."

Kylo Ren felt the rush of anger in his heart. Lighting his lightsaber, he cut a deep whole into the wall of his bedroom. The stormtrooper was long gone by then.

 _(Later on)_

Rey had almost made it to the hangar bay. She could see it, she was almost there. But then she heard footsteps coming her way. Hiding behind a wall, she pulled the lightsaber out of the stash and was ready to attack. She could hear voices, people whispering, she was aware of a heavy set of footsteps.

They were coming closer and closer, she gripped the lightsaber, when they rounded the corner, she jumped out at them, the lightsaber alive and pulsating with power.

"Whohoho!" She heard a male voice say. And then a more familiar one, "Easy there, kid," and then Chewie's growl of protest.

She turned of the lightsaber and rushed to embrace Han and apologise to Chewie for scaring him.

"Who's this?"she asked Han, nodding towards the man dressed as a stormtrooper but without the mask.

"Big shot?" Han replied, "His name is Finn."

"Yes," Finn intervened, "I am your ticket out of here and you almost slashed me in two," he accused.

Rey rolled her eyes. "The lightsaber was nowhere near you. Now, why are you helping, Finn?"she questioned narrowing her eyes at him.

"He wants to get out of here, I needed to find you, we struck a deal," Han explained. "Now where's the Falcon, boy?"he asked impatiently.

"If it's the latest ship they have brought in, it will most likely be in the farthest corner," Finn told them. "Which means we have to cross the whole hangar bay without being seen," he said, eyeing Chewie.

"What's his problem with Chewie?" Rey asked Han.

He shrugged. "Chewie doesn't seem to like him either." Chewbacca groaned in agreement.

"My problem is," Finn said, "that I don't know how we are going to hide this big furry thing!"

"We'll need a distraction," Han smirked.

"Wait, why are you all looking at me?" Finn asked concerned.

 _(Later on)_

Finn had managed to distract the stormtroopers long enough for Chewie to make it to the Falcon. Then, Rey had rendered both of them unconscious so her and Finn and Han could also make their way to the ship. Finn and Rey had already gotten on and Chewie was ready for take off when his voice echoed darkly through the room.

"Han Solo!"

Rey came out of the ship but Han put his hand out to stop her. She did. He took a few steps towards his son.

"I've been waiting for this day for a long time," came Kylo Ren's mechanical voice.

"You can take that thing off," Han replied, talking about his mask.

"What do you think you'll see if I do?" Kylo asked.

"The face of my son," came Han's sorrowful yet strong voice.

Ben did take his mask of, but only the metal one, the one of Kylo Ren, the person he had chosen to become, the one that still looked so much like his old self, was still on.

"Your son was weak and foolish like his father, so I destroyed him!"he spat out.

Rey tried to suppress a whimper. He quickly glanced at her than back at his father who was coming closer and closer.

"That's what Snoke wants you to believe," Han said, his voice gentle. "He is using you for your power."

"No," Kylo barked, "the Supreme Leader is wise."

"You know that's not true," Han came closer. "My son is alive."

"It's too late," Kylo interrupted.

Han shook his head. "No, it's not. Come home with me. We miss you."

Rey held her breath and wondered if Han did the same as they waited for Kylo's reply.

"I'm being torn apart." Something changed in Kylo's eyes, the darkness left them. "I want to be free of this pain," his voice broke. "I know what I have to do, I just don't know if I have the strength to do it." His eyes had filled with tears, so did Rey's, so did Han's she assumed. "Will you help me?" Kylo asked and Rey couldn't help but hear the old Ben in that plea.

"Anything," Han promised.

Rey watched Kylo drop his mask to the ground, saw him pull his lightsaber out of the stash and hand it to Han; instinctively, she pulled her blaster out. Kylo's eyes darted to her for a split of a second, long enough for her to see it, the darkness, clouding his eyes again. He wasn't going to give the lightsaber to Han, but lighting it, he cut into his father's flesh.

Rey didn't hesitate; she shot his hand with the blaster. The lightsaber dropped out of his hand just as Han dropped to the ground, blood dripping from his side. She was breathing loudly and tears were flooding her eyes, making it harder to see.

"Get away from him!"she shouted as she made her way to Han's side, still pointing her blaster at Kylo.

He reached for his lightsaber, she shot him again, this time, in the shoulder. He looked at her, confused, surprised, annoyed, angry; the emotions were so quickly passing his face she didn't have time to register them all. He reached for the lightsaber again and she shot him again, in the stomach, which made him fall to the floor.

"Don't make me do this!"she both warned and pleaded. He didn't reach for his lightsaber again, he merely watched her.

Chewie and Finn were taking care of Han, carefully getting him into the Falcon.

Rey came to a halt, towering above him. "I don't know who you are anymore," then she turned her back on him, making her way to the ship.

That was a mistake, Kylo got up to his feet and lit his lightsaber. She turned around just in time to stop his attack with her own saber. She let the tears escape her eyes, silent accusations down her cheeks.

They battled with the lightsabers, neither of them saying a word. He was angry and powerful and yet, she was winning. _Was it because he was hurt? Was it because he let her?_ No, she couldn't allow herself to believe he had any feelings for her. He'd just proved that he hadn't. He'd just tried to kill his own father. Rage swelled up inside her and she struck him, a powerful blow which left a red, scorching trail on his skin, from his chest to his face.

"Goodbye, Ben," she said, her voice only a broken whisper. She made her way to the Falcon and turned around to look at him. He was starring up at her, with something she hoped was, but knew that it wasn't, regret. She pressed the button and the doors hissed closed.

"Will he make it?"she asked Finn, late into their flight, when she'd finally managed the courage to ask that question.

"I think he will," Finn replied.

She didn't know if it had been a wish or a promise.


	14. Part 14

**AN: hey guys, just wanted to give a shout out to all of you who follow and love this story! Thank you for your reviews! They mean a lot so keep them coming hihi xxx**

Rey didn't know how she'd gotten out of the Falcon. She felt like in a haze, she was aware that Finn had rushed out of the ship with Han, calling for medical experts, but she didn't know how she'd found her way out, how her legs sustained her still. Coming out into the light of day, she blinked rapidly, trying to adjust her eyes to the bright light. In between blinks, she could vaguely discern Leia making her way towards her. When she finally opened her eyes fully and she saw the woman looking upon her husband, Rey finally broke down, tears streaming down her cheeks, carving patterns in her flesh. She fell to her knees and Leia rushed to her side, enveloping her in a hug. No words were spoken but they both knew; they both knew what the other was feeling.

A*A*A

Rey fell asleep cradling the pillow, her tears pooling at the base of her neck and soaking her hair. She woke up feeling raw and tired; her head hurt and her eyes felt as though they had been scraped by nails. She didn't know how long she'd been asleep for but she didn't want to wake up, didn't want to face her new reality. A reality in which Ben had turned into Kylo Ren.She turned on her other side and went to sleep again and hoped she would wake up to another reality.

Five hours later and she didn't. She woke up in the same nightmare. Rey pulled the blanket over her head and in the darkness she became aware of a humming of the Force around her, of a pull on her senses. Rey closed her eyes trying to meditate, to reach out with her thoughts and feelings to understand this.

"Rey?" His voice echoed in her room causing goosebumps to rise on the surface of her skin.

She turned around abruptly, but he wasn't there. And yet, somehow, he was.

"Are you doing this?" His voice was more demanding, impatient.

Rey didn't reply. He seemed just as confused as her. _Was the Force connecting them? But how? Why_?

"What is this?" His voice came out more angrily and Rey let out a shrike of surprise.

She felt something float in the Force around her. Not her own feelings, but his. His frustration and agitation, his anger with her and his regret for frightening her. She realised that sooner or later she would have to say something, so she did.

"I'm not doing this," her voice came out more like a whisper. She cleared her voice and said again, "It's not me."

In that instant, Ben materialised in her room. She pulled back, covering herself with the blanket. He looked hurt by her rejection. She could see that the scar on his face, the one she'd given him, was covered by black bandage.

"Why is the Force connecting us?"he demanded from her but she didn't have an answer.

She shrugged. "I don't know. It must be the doing of the Dark Side," she accused.

Ben had had enough of her attitude. He extended his gloved hand towards her. "You will bring Skywalker to me," he tried to manipulate her mind with the Force.

"It won't work, Ben." She looked away from him, trying to brace herself for the question she knew she had to ask; or maybe she was doing it because she expected his answer to hurt. "Why did you do it?"

"What?"he asked as if he couldn't remember doing anything wrong.

"Your father!"she said incredulously. "Why did you do it?" She looked into his eyes then, challenging him to answer, to tell her the truth.

"The past must die so I can live," he replied, simply, casually even.

"Snoke has really turned your heart, hasn't he?" She couldn't stop the sorrow from seeping into her voice. "You have fully embraced the Dark Side?" It was both a statement and a question; no, not a question, a plea to be proven wrong.

Ben hated the pity in her eyes. "Yes," he replied remorselessly.

"Only a monster would do what you did!"she accused as tears started streaming down her face yet again. They stung her eyes and made the flesh of her cheeks feel raw.

"I _am_ a monster, Rey!"he admitted readily, wholeheartedly.

Rey's heart broke anew. She didn't think that would be possible. Didn't think there was anything breakable left. She didn't know why, maybe she had completely gone insane, but she felt the need to be close to him. Uncovering her body, she stepped out of the bed and crossed the distance between them.

"Ben," she whispered once she stood in front of him. She searched his eyes, trying to find him in there and pull him back to the light; but the connection between them broke. Just like that, it was there one minute and then it vanished.

"Then how am I in love with a monster?" Rey heard herself whisper in the empty room.

 **AN: okay, so there is a looot of drama in this chapter :)) but I do hope you liked it xxx will update soon but in the meantime, you can check out my other two Reylo fanfics Reylo Oneshots and Episode9: Grey bye 3**


	15. Part 15

**AN: Hey guys, I know it's been a bit longer than what you're used to, but I've been a bit busy with my other Reylo Fanfic: Episode9:Grey, if you haven't checked that out yet, pleas make sure you do :) otherwise, hope you like this new chapterxxx**

Kylo studied his scars in the mirror. She had gotten him good and he had to admit he had been proud of her resolve, of her unwavering. But he had also been hurt, hurt that she had chosen his father before him. And yet, he knew he had to be fair to her because in her eyes, in all their eyes, he had been the one guilty. He could live with the whole world blaming him, with the entire galaxy hating him, but he very much doubted he could live without her. And, as if the Force knew he wanted to see her, Rey materialised behind him through the bond. He studied her in the mirror for a moment, whilst she was still trying to figure out where she was, before she was so very self aware. He had missed her brown eyes, had missed seeing her face every day, like he used to when they were young. Somehow, her reflection was not enough anymore, he wanted to see her, _really_ see her, so he turned around.

Rey was taken aback by his lack of clothes, but more so by the way his body had changed. They had gone swimming together when they were kids, she had seen his body grow, from child to boy to man; but this was different, his chest was strong, his skin taut, his muscles tight. His body spoke about the training and discipline it had been put through, the scars on his body spoke about the things he'd done. Rey looked away.

"Don't you have a towel or something?"she asked.

Kylo couldn't help but smile slightly at her embarrassment. "You don't want to admire your handy work?" He had only meant to tease, the way he used to when they were young, but his words had come out dark and harsh; he was more hurt than he thought.

Rey looked into his eyes, strategically avoiding looking at his chest. "I did that?"

Kylo was unnerved by the look in her eyes. "Every single one of them."

Rey now allowed her eyes to roam over his naked chest and there they were, the scars she had given him. The one on his shoulder and stomach, from when she had shot him with the blaster; and the one she had given him with the lightsaber, the one that stretched from the side of his chest, all the way up his neck, onto his jaw and cheek, and ended just above his eye.

"Oh, Ben," she said, the closest thing to an apology she could muster. Kylo looked away; he had never dealt well with pity.

Rey crossed the distance between them. She wanted to be close, needed to be close for what she was gonna ask him next. Gently, and apprehensively, she placed her hands on either side of his neck, her thumbs grazing the sides of his jaw. Ben's breath came out short and he swallowed hard.

"Why did you do it, Ben?"she asked, searching his eyes.

"I had to complete my training..."he started.

She shook her head. "No, Ben, I want the real reason."

Ben looked at her accusingly. "No, what you want to hear from me," he said, "is that I'm sorry."

"Are you?"she asked, both sad and hopeful.

Ben removed her hands from his face. "No."

Rey's eyes glossed over. "Why not?"she asked, punching his chest lightly. "When you had a father who gave a damn about you!"she accused and threw another punch. "I don't even know how that feels like." Another punch.

Ben gripped her hands with his own. He leaned in. "You do not have the monopoly on pain, Rey!"he barked out. "Yes, my father didn't abandon me in the way yours did but it hurt just the same. Knowing that he was alive and well in some corner of the galaxy but that he never had time to spend with me, hurt, Rey. The fact that he constantly chose something else above me and my mother, it hurt!" He abruptly let go of her hands and turned around, away from her.

"Then what about the temple, the other students?" She knew this question might break him but she had to know, she needed him to confirm something. "You tried to kill your own uncle," she accused, although this time, not as harshly.

Kylo let out a dark laugh. "My uncle tried to kill me first," he said, looking at her over his shoulder. "He was afraid of my powers. I did what I had to to stay alive."

And the force bond between them broke. Rey leaned against the wall behind her, her legs unable to support her weight anymore. She let out a whimper. She had never known just how much he'd hurt and now it broke her heart. But it also gave her hope. With everything he had done and said, he had confirmed what she though she knew. It hadn't been his intention to kill Han, only to hurt him. That's why he had looked at her, just before he could strike his father, he had begged her to stop him. And she had. Ben, Ben was still inside Kylo Ren and she needed to bring him back. But for that, she needed to get to him first.

 **AN: Thank you all for all the love and reviews and faves and follows! Sending a big hug your way xxx**


	16. Part 16

**AN: hey guys, thank you for all the reviews and fave and follows! I am so glad you are excited about this story xxx**

Rey had been prepared for their next Force bond meeting, she was anticipating it. There were some things she wanted to say. But it had been days and the Force hadn't yet connected them. She waited patiently in her room for hours but he never came. When it was too late for her to stay up, she laid in her bed, awake, starring at the dark ceiling.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice came from the other side of her bed.

She stood up, startled. "You scared me!"she accused teasingly but saw how his eyes had changed. He believed he truly scared her. She went quiet, laid back down. "I was thinking about you," she whispered after a while.

Ben couldn't help the smile that crept into the corners of his mouth. "What about me?"he found the courage to ask.

"Ben,"Rey turned on her side so that she could see him; he did the same. "I want to see you."

"But you're seeing me now," he laughed a small laugh.

Rey shook her head. "No, I want to really see you," she pushed.

Ben sighed and turned on his back again, but he didn't say anything.

"Can you not leave your ship?"she questioned.

"No, it's not that," he said but offered no more.

"Than what is it?"

"Supreme Leader Snoke wants to see you."

Rey paused. She couldn't tell from his tone whether he was worried or annoyed. She hoped he was worried; but knew better than to hope for something that might not be there. Yet, she tried. "And you don't think I would be safe if I were to meet you?"

Ben gave her a side glance. "I _know_ you won't be. He would want to meet you, persuade you to join us."

The fact that he had used the word "us", hurt; before, "us" used to be her and him, now it was him and somebody else. She swallowed her hurt inside of her, she will deal with that later.

"Isn't that what you want?"she asked.

Ben turned on his side. "Would you stay?"he replied with a question of his own.

"Maybe," she added in tentatively.

He scoffed. "You've already made your decision, Rey. You and I both know that you will never join us."

"Well, apparently Snoke can be very persuasive," she bit back and regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth. "That's not what I..."she started to apologies but Ben only laughed, a sad laugh.

"This remind me of the last time," he said, longingly and lovingly.

Rey felt her heart jump in her chest. The last time, after he'd just completed a year of training, right before Snoke took a hold of him; the first time they had kissed and then laid together in his bed.

She pushed closer to him. "You have a bigger scar now," she whispered.

He inched closer. "That you've given me," he teased, a smirk on his face, his old face, his Ben face.

She pushed even closer, until she could feel his hot breath on her cheek. She reached out with her fingers and touched his scar. He didn't flinch or pull back like she though he would. Instead, he closed his eyes and allowed her to explore and cares his scared skin.

"Ben," she whispered, afraid to break the spell between them.

"Mmm-hmm," he replied sleepily.

"Can I come see you?"

He opened his eyes. Searching her own, he asked. "Do you really want to?"

"I need to!"she replied in a heartbeat.

Ben smiled and ran a hand through her hair. "Then I'll send you my coordinates." She grinned at him and he remembered how good it felt to make her happy, and so he hated himself for what he said next. "Rey, if you try anything against Snoke, I won't be able to protect you."

Rey couldn't help her eyes from glossing over but she could control her body's reaction to his words, and even though what he'd just said made her want to pull away from him, she didn't; she pulled closer. That's why the others had failed to save Ben, because they had been scared of the darkness within him, because they had pulled away when he'd gone off the rails. Well, she wouldn't do that, she will stand by him, even if that meant dying for him, because she could see that Ben was just as afraid of the darkness within him as she was. He didn't need somebody to push him into the light, he needed somebody to help him navigate the darkness within him; and she would.

 **AN: Hope you liked it! Sending you loads of love xxx**


	17. Part 17

**AN: so I know I've been a bit slow with the updates...so there you have it, three chapters in a row :) hope you enjoy them xx**

"I feel the conflict within you. It's tearing you apart," Rey spoke up once they were alone in the elevator.

Ben had given her the coordinates and she'd left the next day. She hadn't spoken to anyone, only got Chewie to help her; he did, reluctantly. After a long flight, she had made it to him and he had waited for her. But the stormtroopers had cuffed and escorted her all the way to the elevator that led to Snoke's throne room. Through it all, Ben had remained quiet.

Now, he was stood behind her, his posture rigid, his face unmasked and unemotional. He was becoming really good at hiding things from her, she noticed with sadness.

"You don't have to do this," she carried on; he stayed silent.

Rey closed her eyes and let out a sigh. She tried to meditate, to find some balance within the Force, but his erratic vibrations kept her from doing so. She had to speak to him.

"Ben," she pleaded, turning around.

He looked at her, his eyes scanning her features. "This is the only way," he said, almost helplessly.

She shook her head. "No, it's not." She took a step closer. "You can turn to the Light." Another step, until her face was only inches away from his heaving chest. "I can help you."

Ben tilted his head down to look into her eyes. "No, when the time comes, you will join us," he said leaning in closer.

Rey closed her eyes and clenched her jaw. She pulled away, it was so easy to get lost into the warmth of him, but she didn't want to loose focus. If she succeeded today, they would have a lifetime to be close.

The elevator slowed down and Rey knew they were almost there. She had to act fast. "Ben," she called out and he returned her gaze to his. "There's something you need to know." The elevator stopped completely; and, just before the doors opened she blurted out, "Han is alive."

A*A*A

The last few moments had all been a blur to him. Ever since she had told him that his father was alive, that he hadn't killed him, the guilt that was pressing on his chest, threatening to suffocate him, evaporated. Yet, his mind didn't seem to be able to make sense of it all. While he knew in his heart that he both loved and feared Rey's presence on the ship, his mind seemed to be stuck on one thing alone: Snoke. His loyalty to his master, his loyalty to the dark side, his mind seemed to be so sure of what he so vehemently doubted it in his heart.

But there had been something, a breach in what Snoke had said. He said that the Force bond was not real, that he'd connected them; to test him, to bring her to them. He had said something else and Rey had lashed out at him and he had tortured her, and in that moment, Ben could have murdered him. But he stood, motionless, almost immobile, glued to the spot he was in, merely watching.

And then, after he was done, he had commanded him to kill her. _Her_. The only Light in his life, his balance. He had asked him to do that and a switch inside of him flipped. Something woke up to life, a power, a control of the Force he had left dormant for too long. And he had fooled Snoke, had allowed him to read the thoughts he planted in his own mind, pretended he was ready to kill Rey and instead, he struck him, his true enemy.

Snoke was dead, lying in half on the floor of his throne room. Ben had fallen to his knees next to Rey. He knew they had but seconds, yet, he felt like he need to get this off his chest. "I'm sorry," he whispered. And then said it again and again and again, until the Pretaitorian Guards attacked them.


	18. Part18

Rey still tried to make sense of everything that had just happened. Which was made considerably more difficult by the fact that she had to defend herself. She cut one of the guards with her saber, punched the other one with her leg. She saw Ben, on the other side of the room, fighting off three guards. Ben, the old Ben, her Ben. Ben who had saved her, who had killed Snoke because of her. She still couldn't believe it. Another guard attacked her and she struck him with the lightsaber but then another one grabbed her from behind.

From the other side of the room, Ben watched Rey struggle to free herself just like he was doing. His eyes went wild. If she died now, it would be his fault and he couldn't live with that. With new found force and ferocity he freed himself from the guards, throwing their bodies to the ground then striking them with his lightsaber. Ben pushed his messy hair out of his eyes, ready to go and help Rey but she'd already freed herself. He smiled to himself. But in that moment of unawareness, a guard grabbed him from behind, its red hand now twisting around Ben's neck and sucking the air out of his lungs.

Rey felt him before she saw him, the danger he was in, the Force had let her know. She turned off her lightsaber and shouting his name, she threw it at him. Ben caught it in his hand and lighting it, he cut off the guards head.

Now, they were both stood on opposites sides of the room, panting from the effort. It was done. There were no more guards to fight. They had won. And there was a look in Ben's eyes, one she recognised, one that she knew was in her eyes as well. With desperate, even chaotic moves, they crossed the space between them and their lips meet, just as their bodies collided, in a rush of passion and adrenaline. They were hungry for each other, pulling the other closer than was possible; her hands were in his hair, his were holding her face.

Ben couldn't pull away, his hands were caressing her face, her hair, her shoulders, his lips kissing every inch of her face, from her lips to her cheek, to her nose and eye, until they finally rested on her forehead. Rey smiled as she breathed in the scent of him.

"I've missed you," she whispered against his pulse.

Ben felt her words reverberate through him. "I'm sorry," his voice was a broken whisper that got tangled in her hair.

She looked up at him. "Ben," her voice was passionate, exploding with emotion, "I forgive you. But let's go home now."

She could feel the hesitation in him, and still, he nodded. "Let's go home."


	19. Part 19

Rey could feel Ben's hesitation as she was putting the coordinates of their home in the escape pod. From the corner of her eye, she watched him pace around the small space. She stopped what she was doing. "Ben?"

He looked up, meeting her eyes with his own. He was anxious, anxious in a way that made her stomach twist.

"Oh, Ben," she said as she moved towards him and laid her hands on his face. When he didn't meet her gaze, she said, "Look at me! You can go home now! You're free."

His eyes darkened. "I'm not free, Rey. The darkness is inside of me," he said beating his chest with his gloved hand.

Rey put her hand on his to still it. "But the light is also there, Ben," she smiled.

He looked away. "I don't know if there is any light left."

She moved his chin so that he would look at her. "But I know! There is light left in you, Ben. You are not your grandfather!" His eyes glossed over and he clenched his jaw. Rey laid a kiss on his cheek. "Should we go?"she asked and he nodded.

"But," Ben said, stopping Rey as she was about to turn away from him, "I need you to promise me something."

"Anything." Her reply was immediate.

"I know I might have lost my place and my privileges. I know that I will have to answer for my crimes, but Rey, promise me that I will always have you?"his voice nearly broke down with emotion.

Rey took a step closer, pressed her lips to his for the briefest of moments and then whispered, "You will always have me."

A*A*A

As he laid between the metal surface of the escape pod and Rey's body, Ben couldn't help but be overwhelmed by emotions. Everything had happened so fast, changed so quickly. He wasn't sure who he was anymore; he knew he wasn't Kylo, but was he Ben? Entirely Ben? The same Ben? Would he want to go back to being that Ben? Because that old Ben had been hurt by his parents, angered by the Jedi teaching and almost driven to insanity; the reason why Kylo Ren was born. No, he didn't want to be that Ben anymore, he had to change, become a better man. A man that would have to live with the guilt of almost killing his father, with the regret of killing Padawans and innocents; he would have to live with his sins pressing hard on his shoulders.

He swallowed hard. He had indeed become a monster and now the weight of this revelation hanged heavily on his head. Ben shook his head trying to clear his mind. He needed something, a lifeline, something real to take a hold of and never let go.

He pulled Rey's body closer to his own, breathing in her scent. She was warm and real against him. _She was his lifeline._

 **AN: so I know this last one is quite short but I wanted them to have a moment before they had to face everybody else!**

 **Hope you enjoyed the fast update! Please let me know what you think in the reviews, I love reading them :) also thanks a lot for following this story :D you guys are awesome! And if you've not yet my other Reylo FanFic Episode9:Grey, make sure you do cause things are heating up over there xxx**


	20. Part 20

**AN: Hey guys, thank you for all the love you show this story. We are nearing the end of this journey so I hope you are excited about this chapter! :)**

Ben Solo exited the escape pod in the most dignified manner he could muster at the time. The gathering of people fell quiet and he looked up at his mother. Princes Leia Organa looked older than he remembered, there were deeper lines in her face and her eyes seemed sadder. He looked away from her gaze; it was too soon for him to deal with the reproach and hate of his mother.

But then, she surprised him, like she mostly did, and rushed past Rey, straight to him to envelop him in her arms. Leia didn't let go for a long time, but when she did pull away, she cradled his face in her hands and said, loudly so that the whole gathering could hear her, "Welcome home, my boy."

 **A*A*A**

Rey had disappeared somewhere in the crowd earlier. One moment she was by his side and then, he had been swept away by his mother, and Rey had left him.

Now, he was in his old room, vacant and empty, bearing very little resemblance to his childhood room, holding within its walls, only the faint echos of memories. He laid down on his bed, remembering the warmth of Rey's body next to his and feeling cold. He felt as alone as he'd always felt in this vast room, in this strange palace that never really felt like home. He sighed, it would never be easy.

A soft knock on the door forced him upright; it was his training as Snoke's apprentice that always made him be on guard. He relaxed his shoulders, breathed out. "Come in," he called.

It was his mother, he had felt her signature through the Force. She offered him a small smile and made her way to his balcony. He followed her with his eyes. "We should probably talk about everything that's happened," she said, her back turned to him as she gazed at the city below them.

Ben got up. He didn't know why, he just felt like he should. "I know you must hate me for what I've done," he said looking at the ground.

"Ben," she interrupted him, turning around to look into his eyes, "My boy! I do not hate you. I could never!" She emphasised, "but I hate what Snoke had done to you."

Ben looked away. She was excusing him by placing the blame on something else; he couldn't let her do that. "My decisions were mine and mine alone," he said almost coldly, though also remorsefully.

Leia sighed. "Indeed they were. You allowed darkness to corrupt your soul, and for that you are guilty."

She saw tears gather in the corners of his eyes. "But make no mistake, the darkness is the one responsible!"she said vehemently.

"Ben," she said and he looked up at her. "I do not hate you. I hate what you have done, but I love you just as much as I always have."

Ben felt the sting in his heart and she saw it in his eyes; he hadn't always been able to. tell she'd loved him.She closed the gap between them and laid her hand on his handsome face. "I am so sorry for ever giving you reasons to doubt my love," she said and a tear rolled down the side of her face. "I am sorry for sending you away. I am sorry that I didn't chase you down and bring you home when you left with Snoke." Now, tears were falling freely on both their faces. She brought him closer and he buried his head in the croak of her neck. "But you are home now," she smiled through the tears.

They stayed like that, buried in each other's arms until the pain and hurt had eased, just a little, but enough to know that one day, it will be gone for sure. And then she had told him that they were having a celebration in his honour. "For," she said, "my son was dead and now is alive again. He had left but now he is back home, in the light, where he belongs."

 **A*A*A**

"Let's go for a walk, son."

Ben had stood petrified when his father walked into the dinning room. But he asked him for a walk and he complied; now, they were walking in the garden, a deep silence between them. Ben hadn't seen his father since the day he had tried to kill him. He looked older now, and he was limping slightly. Ben felt the remorse wrenching his insides. And yet, there was still some anger inside him, some hurt.

"Ben," Han spoke up, "I'm gonna tell you something and I want you to listen to me, alright?"

Ben almost smiled. It was the same thing he used to say right before he would teach or show him anything about the Falcon. Ben nodded, just like he used to do when he was young. But now, there was apprehension in his eyes, not eagerness.

Han took a deep breath. "My father was a cold man. The only thing he ever loved was my mother and when she died, he stopped giving a damn about me. He was never around, but when he was, he was mostly angry, violent; so I had to learn from a young age how to take care of myself. And I did, I got the Falcon, I found Chewie, but seeing the pain my father went through when he lost my mother, made me swear I would never get attached to anything like that. But then your mother came along,"Han chuckled to himself. "She was a storm. She was brilliant and beautiful and I finally understood why my father had suffered for my mother so. I finally had something in common with my old man." He paused, sighed. They were nearing a bench and Han said "We should take a seat there for a while; I'm not as young as I used to be," and grinned.

When they sat down, Han continued with his story. "I was never the best of men. Your mother," he said looking at him,"she could have done a lot better. But," he shrugged, "she chose me. And I wanted to be better for her. And I was, and things were going great for a while and we got married and then you came along."

Ben heard the hesitation in his father's voice. He regretted it, he never had wanted him. Ben felt a lump rise in his throat.

Han sighed. "You were the best thing that could have ever happened to us," he said, his voice cracking with emotion.

Ben looked at him astonished. Han returned his gaze.

"You were brilliant. Our prefect little boy! We wondered for so long what did we ever do right to deserve you." Han looked away for a moment, overwhelmed by his emotions. "But you were a handful," he laughed, "oh, you gave us some headaches. But it was still beautiful. Everything about your childhood, Ben, everything was perfect."

Ben felt the sense of doom rising in his father's voice.

"But then we saw something in you, something that scared us. Me more than your mother," he admitted. "We didn't know what to do and I left it all in your mother's hand. My father never took care of things, I never knew how to do that myself. But all the decisions we made pushed you further away from us, and it became daunting to be a father, so I ran away, and your mother buried herself in work; and you were left alone." Han allowed the tears that had gathered in the corner of his eyes to spill on his cheeks. "But you alway had Rey, and I was happy about that. Rey is what your mother was to me, what my mother was to my father. Us, Solo men, we need that."

Ben remained quiet while he pondered his father's words. His sincerity, his admission sounded too much like excuses to Ben's ears, to his heart.

But, as if able to read his thoughts, Han carried on. "I'm not telling you this so I can excuse myself in your eyes. No," he shook his head, "I failed you, Ben, and for that I am sorry. But I am telling you this so that you can understand how my father was part of my failures and how I am a part of yours. This is not about placing blame on my father, son. This is about me taking the blame off of you and putting it on me." Han rested his hand on his son's shoulder. Ben looked at him, a hint of tears in his eyes; he clenched his jaw. "I can carry it for you, boy. You can let go."

Ben crumbled in his father's arms that afternoon, and they cried together as the sun set over the beautiful garden. Both Ben and Han knew this was far from over, and their relationship was far from being healed, but they had started on that journey and that in itself was a miracle.

 **AN: Gotta say, I was a bit scared to write the reunion but I am happy with what came out :) super emotional but I hope you did enjoy it! As always let me know what you think and thank you for the reviews and faves and follows so far xxx**


	21. Part 21

**AN: Hey guys, thank you for all the follows and faves and a big shout out to lais89  for being such an amazing reviewer! Xxx**

 **Hope you enjoy this one ;)**

Ben felt odd being the centre of attention of an entire room, of an entire celebration. He had grown up being ignored; or at least that's how he'd felt.

Rey couldn't stop staring at him. In his dark purple, royal robe, Ben looked every inch the prince he was. He stood tall and broad shouldered in the middle of the room, trying his best to smile at the guests. Ben was trying very hard to be believable but Rey knew his smile wasn't genuine; he'd never liked these kind of things. She definitely had it in mind to go save him from the tedious task, but for now, she liked that he had a distraction, something that gave her enough time to just look at him, to take it all in, to enjoy the fact that he was home.

But their Force bond betrayed her all too soon and lifting his head, Ben found her eyes across the room and when his dark eyes stared into her own, it was as if nothing else existed. Hastily, and as if pulled by an invisible string, they made their way towards each other. They stopped a few feet away.

"You look beautiful," Ben said as soon as she was in arm's reach, and she did. He had been flabbergasted by her beauty from across the room. She wore a deep burgundy, backless dress, and her hair fell in soft curls, framing her face.

"Thank you." Rey smiled shyly. "You don't look too bad yourself."

He laughed. "Well, thank you. So," he leaned in closer and whispered when she did the same, "what do you say you dance with me next and save me from all these people?" He smirked at her.

"Hmmm, I don't know," she pretended to think about it. "I think I promised the next dance to somebody else."

Ben's smiled perished. "Well," he said in his cheeky way as he placed one hand on the small of her back, right where her skin was exposed, and another one on her arm and led her to the dance floor, "I'm sure whoever it is, will make a concession for the guest of honour."

Rey rolled her eyes but allowed him to lead her to the dance floor. It was nothing new, she had danced with him before; and yet, it was a completely different experience. They had been children the last time they had danced together, teenagers, but now their bodies had changed, they were more aware of each other, more sensitive to one another. She couldn't help but notice the connection between them, the proximity that made her heart flutter and her cheeks blush. She could feel his hand burning an imprint on the exposed skin of her back, could feel his strong chest against her own.

Ben was also aware of this change; but unlike her, he had noticed it all along. How they both had changed and matured together, how he had loved her then just as much as he loved her now. In an instant, he felt the craziest impulse to tell her that, that he loved her, but far away from the curious gazes of everyone. Without a second thought, Ben grabbed her hand and pulled her after him as he ran away from the ballroom. Ben could hear Rey asking questions and laughing as they made their way though the various rooms of the house and up the stairs until they reached his room.

When Ben closed the door behind them and turned around to look at Rey she wasn't laughing anymore, she seemed nervous. "Why are we here, Ben?"she asked him.

Ben didn't intent to ignore her question, but he couldn't help himself. He crossed the space between them and kissed her passionately, his hands getting lost in her soft curls. Rey allowed herself to get lost into the kiss as her hands found their way around his neck.

"I love you, Rey," Ben said when they pulled apart. She smiled at him. "I have loved you ever since I saw you in that apple tree," he grinned, pinning a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I love you too," she whispered against his lips before she kissed him again.

In the tumult of their kiss, they had made their way to Ben's bed. When the back of her legs hit the bed, Rey pulled away. "Ben," she said his name, a million questions in her eyes.

"Stay the night?" Ben asked as he pulled down the strap of her dress just enough to kiss her bare shoulder. He smiled against her skin when he heard her breathless agreement.


	22. Part 22

Rey woke up in a haze, as a ray of sunshine illuminated her face. And then she remembered what had happened last night and she smiled and blushed even before opening her eyes. Patting the bed, Rey felt for Ben, but he wasn't there. She opened her eyes and looked around, she couldn't see him from where she laid. She gathered the sheets about her naked body and sat up in bed; she saw Ben standing on the balcony in the bright sun, in only his trousers.

"Hey," Ben said, turning around when he realised she was awake.

"Hey," she said sleepily.

He grinned. "I got you this," he said and threw an apple at her which she barely managed to catch without letting go of the sheets. Ben chuckled and made his way back to the bed. He laid on his side, on top of the covers.Rey glanced at him as she took a big bite of her apple.

"So, last night..." he started as he ran his finger up and down her bare arm. Rey's cheeks turned a bright red colour instantly and she almost chocked on her apple. Ben smirked. "Easy there," he mocked her, slowly patting her back.

She just rolled her eyes at him, but soon enough, his fingers started an exploration of her back, as he ran his fingers over her shoulder blades and down her spine.

"So I've been thinking," Ben started again.

"Uh-huh," Rey said trying to pay attention to what he was saying and not his hands.

"That I want to finish my Jedi training. With you."

Rey's eyes widened. He'd stopped what he was doing and she was grateful for that because she was able to concentrate better.

"But I will have conditions," he said before she could really say anything.

She nodded. "That seems fair. When do you want to start?"

He shrugged. "As soon as you feel prepared and my uncle agrees to it."

Rey's mouth fell agape. "You want Luke to train us?"

"Who else?" It was a genuine question, there was nobody else who could train them; but still, he knew what she'd meant. "I think my uncle can be a great teacher," he admitted.

"He is,"she agreed, not believing he would say that."We should start as soon as possible!"she said excitedly.

Ben grimaced. "Maybe not as soon as possible..."

"Why?" Rey asked confused.

"I have other things in mind," he gave her a cheeky smile before kissing her back into the pillows.

 ** _The end._**

 **AN: oh my gosh guys, here it is! My very first completed fanfic :) I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you for all the faves and follows and reviews! They were all amazing and I really appreciate them all xxxx**

 **Also, because I couldn't let got of this story just like that, there are 3 special epilogue chapters coming up so keep yourself posted ;D**

 **And, in the meantime, if you want anything else to read, make sure you check out my other Reylo fic, Episode9: Grey xxxx**


	23. Epilogue 1

_**Epilogue 1**_

Rey was putting all her concentration in lifting the rocks by the lake. She wanted to lift particular ones, those she was now staring at. She felt the energy of the Force coming out of her outstretched hand and saw the rocks lifting from the ground. She smiled to herself as they made their way high above the lake. She closed her eyes then, trying to balance herself.

"So all there is to the Force is lifting rock," Ben acted surprised as he sneaked up on her.

Rey scoffed, then opened one eye to glare at him before closing it again. She let out a deep breath. "It's about balance, Solo. You should try that sometime," she smirked.

Ben let out a chuckle. "Why should I," he whispered against her ear as his hands found their way around her waist from behind, "when you prefer me like this?"

Rey's whole body shivered when his hot breath hit her neck and the rocks fell into the lake with a loud plop.

"Oh, did I make you lose concentration?" Ben faked innocence as he planted a kiss on her neck.

Rey couldn't help but laugh at him. She turned around in his arms and laid her hands on his chest. "You know we have to practice, right?"she asked as she ran her hands over his white tunic; it went so well with his black hair.

"Rey, you are one of the most powerful Force users. I think you'll be fine."

She smiled. "I know. But this helps balance me," she motioned to the place around them.

"What about me?" Ben asked leaning in.

She scoffed. "You do not balance me," she laughed. "We just cancel each other out."

Ben stopped to think about that for a moment before he nodded his agreement. "Yeah, I think that's accurate," he laughed before he kissed her.


	24. Epilogue 2

**_Epilogue 2_**

"Why is this so important to you?" Ben pressed her as he pushed his staff against hers.

"Because," she replied pushing back, "people need to learn to trust you."

Ben sighed and pulled his staff away. Rey did the same and they both threw their weapons to the side. Ben gestured for her to attack him; she did, launching forward with her leg. He stopped it and turned her around so that her back was now pressed to him.

"I just don't know what the problem is." Ben sounded a bit exasperated.

Rey grunted, then grabbing his hand, she twisted it around his back, so that now, his back was plastered against her front. "People need to know you are not Snoke's puppet anymore!"

Ben twisted his arm back and pulled her towards him with it, trapping her hands between their bodies. "Why?"he questioned.

Rey tried to shove him off but it didn't work. She sighed. "Because it can't just be you and me, Ben. There's an entire galaxy out there and you are their future leader." Her tone was more accusatory then she would have wanted to and he let go of her and went to pick up his water.

He took a sip of his water before he turned around to look at her again. "Why do I have to prove myself to them?"

"It's not like that," she tried to argue back but he interrupted her.

"It sounds exactly like that!"

Rey raised her arms in exasperation. "Could you stop being a spoiled child for just one minute and see that this is just something you have to do?" Rey's eyes were apologetic as soon as she realised what she'd said. "Ben," she started but he brushed past her and left.

 **A*A*A**

"Hey," Rey said as she lightly knocked on the opened balcony door.

Ben looked at her briefly before returning his gaze to the city that spread below them. "Hey," he said.

She came to stand beside him, laying her hands on the rail as he had. "I'm sorry about earlier."

He gave her a small smile. "Yeah, me too."

Rey sighed. "You can do whatever you see fit. I trust you."

Ben brought his hand to rest on top of hers. "Thank you," he whispered. "But I'm gonna go with what you suggested," he said and her face lit up.

"Yes?"she asked.

"Yes," he smiled at her, he loved making her happy. "You know these people better then me. I left, never really got to be part of the community here," he said his voice a bit sad, remorseful. "But, I want to make amends now."

"Thank you, Ben!" She laid a soft kiss on his cheek and he pulled her up in his arms, and they stayed like that to watch the sunset.


	25. Epilogue 3

**_Epilogue 3_**

"Rey?" Ben asked; he was drawing lazy patterns on her back with his fingers.

"Hm?" Rey replied sleepily from where her head was resting on his chest. That had become her favourite place, she could hear his heart beat inside of him and it felt like it reverberated all the way through her.

"I think we should get married," Ben said decidedly.

Rey shot up, looking at him confused. "Why do you think that?"she laughed but a bigger smile was lurking in the corners of her mouth.

Ben shrugged, brushing her hair past her shoulder. "Well it just make sense," he said as if it was the most obvious thing.

Rey couldn't help her laugh. "Does it now?"

"Yes, well, you promised me you'd alway be by my side and so did I," he said playing with her fingers that were splayed on his chest.

"Right," Rey answered, resting on her elbow. "See, I remember me promising that to you, but I seem to have no recollection of you doing the same," she said, teasingly poking his chest.

"And that's precisely why we should get married," he replied. "So that I can say it in front of everybody," he explained.

Rey felt her smile widen and her heart grow inside of her. "Ok then," she whispered as she lay a brief kiss on his lips.Ben smiled and brought her closer for a real kiss.


End file.
